As with any sort of break-up, it's better to do it in person.MesquitaFMS/Getty Images
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Ask Women and Work
Question: I’ve been informally mentoring a junior employee, but I’m thinking about discontinuing our meetings. What’s the best way to handle it when a mentor/mentee relationship just isn’t working out?
We asked Jennifer Francis, mentor, investor and co-founder of SheBoot, to tackle this one:
I do not think that you should continue with a mentor/mentee relationship that’s not working.
Sometimes it’s not working because there’s a mismatch in terms of what each side is hoping to get out of the mentor/mentee relationship. Sometimes it’s a personality mismatch. Sometimes the person you’re mentoring isn’t interested in being coachable; maybe they’re in the relationship because they were told they have to get a mentor. But if you’re dreading meeting with them, there is no point in wasting your time and your mentee’s time.
If you are trying to extract yourself from a mentor/mentee relationship, my advice would be to be honest, but not brutal. Think about why it’s not working for you and how you can communicate that to your mentee constructively.
As with any sort of breakup, it’s better if you can do it in person – or virtually if your relationship is a virtual one. E-mail and text can be wide open for misinterpretation. You don’t necessarily want to crash and burn the relationship, you just want to end it. You want to help guide the individual so that their next relationship is more positive.
Maybe you could say, ‘I don’t feel I have the right skill set to help you at this time,’ or, ‘I don’t feel you’re ready for this level of coaching at this time.’ I’m not a fan of ghosting the person and just not responding to them. It can be easier, but it’s not helpful, because the mentee doesn’t know why it’s happened and they’re not going to learn anything from it. Plus, then you run the risk of them spreading it around. It leaves a bad taste on all sides and you want to be professional.
My general rule when starting out with a new mentor/mentee relationship is to establish some rules of engagement. What is the mentee hoping to get out of the relationship? How often are you hoping to meet? What’s the time commitment from each side? That can give you a framework to work in and avoid problems later on. Also, you should always have checkpoints with your mentee to find out whether it’s making a difference.
I meet with once a month with a mentee and every second meeting or so, I check in at the end and ask, ‘Do you feel that you’re making progress? Are there things you would change?’ That way, we can adjust. Maybe we will decrease our meetings to a quarterly check-in. Or, we can decide that it’s time to go our own ways.
There’s a natural lifespan to mentor/mentee relationships, even if it’s been a positive experience. Maybe the person is now at another stage and they need a different type of mentor. ‘I got you this far. Now, maybe the next person can take you to the next level.’
Submit your own questions to Ask Women and Work by e-mailing us at GWC@globeandmail.com.
This week’s must-read stories on women and work
Done with bulky pregnancy tests, this Canadian entrepreneur has developed a more discreet and affordable option
Jackie Rhind remembers the experience of buying pregnancy tests as a teenager, awkwardly trying to conceal the bulky package she was toting and worrying she might run into someone she knew.
In university, Ms. Rhind, who has a blood clotting disorder that prevents her from taking most forms of hormonal birth control, said she discovered she could buy similar tests at the dollar store for less without having to compromise on accuracy. However, she was still frustrated by the cumbersome, excessive packaging and an average of only two tests a pack.
Convinced there had to be a better option, Ms. Rhind started surveying her friends and family, researching the industry and figuring out how to strip down the traditional test. Several years later, this led her to found Ovry, a reproductive health company that specializes in making tests that are more affordable, more discreet and produce less waste than competing brands.
Read how Ms. Rhind took a personal need and turned it into a thriving business.
Are companies over-promising career advancement?
“Making a company look attractive to potential employees is an art form,” says Eileen Dooley, a talent and leadership development specialist based in Calgary. “Look no further than company websites – they have entire sections devoted to what it means to be an employee at the company. Mission, vision and values are highlighted by photos of fun company activities, where people are engaging in outdoor adventures. Not only is the company a great place to work – it’s a fun place to work – and they want you to know it.
“Companies even position employees as being part of a larger community or family, such as Westjeters, Metamates and Amazonians. Specific titles are getting more creative as well, think chief innovation evangelist, director of amazement and head of hype and culture. The list, and creativity, goes on … and so do the expectations put on employees.”
Read why companies need to articulate not only what a new employee can gain, but what the company expects in return.
Indigenous-owned online department store wants to do more than sell T-shirts
Chelsee Pettit came up with the idea to build a national Indigenous-owned clothing brand while walking in downtown Toronto on a Sunday afternoon.
“I thought I saw someone wearing Indigenous syllabics on their shirt and right away I felt this sense of inclusion,” she says.
Even after realizing the graphic was just a triangle, she started brainstorming a design for the shirt she had imagined. Pettit is Anishinaabe and a proud member of Aamjiwnaang First Nation. She wanted to build a brand that would showcase her culture.
By the following week, she had a drop-shipping website up and running for her business and brand, aaniin retail inc. After sales went well in the first week, she decided to temporarily take the site down. “I didn’t want people walking around with Indigenous languages on their shirts if they don’t remember what it says,” Pettit explains.
Read how Ms. Pettit is keeping her business entrenched in the Indigenous values of community and interconnectedness.
In case you missed it
Building a personal brand, even if your employer doesn’t want you to
Before she became the head of marketing at tech startup Fellow.app, Manuela Bárcenas felt that she had “nothing to lose” by posting her thoughts and insights on LinkedIn.
Today, Ms. Bárcenas has more than 14,000 LinkedIn followers. Her posts about leadership, career and workplace culture have led to opportunities that she says she never imagined, such as emceeing major tech conferences like SAAS North and INNOVATEwest.
“People see my posts, and I’m top of mind for them when an opportunity comes up,” Ms. Bárcenas says. She adds that her employer is supportive of her promoting her personal brand alongside posts about what’s happening at her company; as an AI meeting management platform, Fellow.app’s services align well with her content.
If you are able to balance the requirements of a corporate job with what you want to communicate through your personal brand, “you can become an ambassador for your workplace, rather than those two things crashing [together],” Ms. Bárcenas says.
Read the full article.
From the archives
Retirement-aged women are coming up with creative ways to supplement their income
Jacquie Doucette was looking for a way to travel affordably following her official retirement from the Canadian public service. So, the Ottawa area resident joined an international network of house- and pet-sitters where women outnumber men by a considerable margin.
While these positions don’t pay directly, they can be financially beneficial to people who prefer seeing the world to having a home base, Ms. Doucette says.
“I have friends who’ve been doing it since 2012 who’ve kept track of their expenses, and they’re paying easily 70 per cent less in costs through the year than someone living at home, because you don’t have a mortgage or insurance or any of that sort of thing,” she says. “[Plus], you get a chance to see all these countries as a local.”
Prior to taking early retirement, Ms. Doucette explored a number of possible income-generating avenues, including multilevel marketing, without finding a good fit. She ended up launching a podcast called Beyond Retirement.
“I started the podcast because I couldn’t find the [information] I was looking for about what to do after retirement, and I figured if I was looking, other people probably were too,” she says.
Read the full article.
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