Virtual work makes it harder to find a mentor. Experts advise setting up meetings with people you admire and see if you have a good rapport with them before asking if they would be your mentor.GETTY IMAGES
Careerwise, is our virtual work world leaving us adrift?
As employees have less face time with the boss and other co-workers, including those who we don’t work closely with, mentorship has become even more important.
However, it’s harder for mentoring relationships to develop naturally when we’re working remotely or hybrid – and when we do come in, the office is often empty.
While 98 per cent of Fortune 500 Companies have visible mentoring programs, a 2024 report by MentorcliQ found, most Canadian businesses haven’t got the message. Only 34 per cent of organizations in Canada offered mentorship programs as of December 2023, according to a survey by The Harris Poll on behalf of Express Employment Professionals. If you want a mentor, you may have to find one on your own.
So how do you begin the search and what is there to know about finding a good mentor?
Rebecca Beaton, a Vancouver-based career coach, advises people to be intentional about it. Start by setting up some one-on-one informational interviews with potential mentors to see if you have a rapport with them. But don’t jump right into asking if they want to be your mentor. First, you need to have a conversation. For example, you might request a 15-minute video call with someone inside your company to talk about their career – even if that feels a little awkward to you.
“Be really curious and get them talking about themselves,” says Ms. Beaton. “Ask what advice they might have for someone like you looking to get into a certain role or to grow in a certain way. You want to gauge how interested they are in helping you out and if there’s a connection.”
“If it doesn’t flow, maybe that person isn’t a fit, but often people want to help and pass on what they’ve learned. If a conversation goes well, request another. In the end you can just directly ask if they’d mentor you.”
Outside of your organization, Ms. Beaton suggests tapping into “the network of your network,” even going to friends and family – because you never know who knows someone. Once a person is interested, be really explicit about what you mean by mentoring, including your goals, how often you would like to meet and what kind of advice you’re seeking.
“There’s no set formula, so a lot of it is really using your gut,” says Ms. Beaton. “See if they’re open to meeting in person – maybe once a month, for half an hour – because that would help build the relationship even further, but meeting virtually can work as well. Scheduling is easier when there’s no travel time involved.”
Alan Kearns, managing partner and founder of Career Joy, a leadership and national career coaching organization, says a great way to start is with alumni organizations where you went to school.
“[Those in Alumni organizations] are the kind of people who naturally want to give back and you already have a common connection in place,” says Mr. Kearns. “Also, every single profession has an association, so look up who’s on their boards and try connecting through the association or LinkedIn. Second, go to the industry events where you’re most likely going to connect with somebody face-to-face and start the conversation. Say, ‘I’d love to grab coffee with you.’ Alumni and industry events are simple entry points where you can just connect into a pre-existing scenario.”
Mr. Kearns also sees another opportunity. Why have just one mentor?
“If you’re smart, you’ll create a personal board of directors in different areas, so have a group of people that you’ll be mentored by over a period of time,” says Mr. Kearns. “You’ll get different perspectives to the same question from people with different skill sets, maybe even in different industries, but what’s really key is being able to expand your network.”
Once you’ve formed mentoring relationships, how can you be a good mentee or mentor in this digital age?
Ms. Beaton advises asking lots of questions and listening carefully. Show up on time, come prepared and give back where you can, such as sharing information that might be helpful to your mentor. She points out that one mistake mentors make is giving advice before they have all the information, so listening matters on both sides.
Mr. Kearns sees mentorship as a collaborative relationship – a good mentor is an advocate for somebody else’s success while a good mentee is curious and open to working collaboratively with a mentor, but not looking for that person to have all the answers. While mentoring software claims to be able to make science-based matches, Mr. Kearns sees mentoring as more than just an algorithm.
“It’s an art and a science,” he says. “There are lots of dating apps, but people still say they have to meet five others before finding one who could be a long-term relationship. Ultimately, mentoring is an analog experience.”