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road sage

It’s fall and the leaves are changing colour. Trees are aflame with red, orange, gold and brown. Sunshine lights up the Canadian countryside into a dazzling display while the cities look dressed up for autumn.

So why are the cars so boring?

Meanwhile, cars on Canadian roads are a drab swathe of silver, black and white. Where is the Sunset Orange, Scarlet Red and the Golden Harvest? Where is my Go Mango? Why is every car so bland and dull? Where is the joy? It’s as if every driver on the road is trying to out-bland all the others. If you were to judge a society by the colour of its automobiles, you would come away with the firm belief that Canadians would suck all the juice from a lemon if they thought it would change the colour from yellow to white.

It’s not just Canadians. American drivers are also incredibly boring.

According to a survey by iSeeCars.com, the most popular car colour in the United States is white, comprising 27.6 per cent of the market share, up from 15.6 per cent in 2003. The colour that is absence of colour is followed in popularity by black (22 per cent, up from 14 per cent in 2003) and grey (21.3 per cent, up from 11.7 per cent in 2003).

iSeeCars.com analyzed the colours of more than 20 million used cars from model years 2004 – 2023 that were sold from January, 2023 to April, 2024. Only 20 per cent of car are “non-grayscale” colours. That’s half of what they were in 2004.

All of this led iSeeCars executive analyst Karl Brauer to declare “Colourful cars appear to be an endangered species.”

North American drivers have collectively turned their backs on fun of any kind. Actual interesting colours from the 2023 analysis are severely unappreciated:

  • Blue: 8.9 per cent, down from 10.8 per cent
  • Green: 2 per cent, down from 4 per cent
  • Orange: 0.5 per cent, down from 0.6 per cent
  • Purple: 0.1 per cent, down from 1 per cent
  • Yellow 0.2 per cent, down from 0.9 per cent

Personally, I like a colourful ride. My 2021 Mini Cooper S Countryman ALL4 is Island Blue Metallic with white racing stripes. For years I drove a black Dodge Grand Caravan because it was cheapest to buy one in that colour. Black was practical, which made it awful. About now, given the state of the world and the issues facing Canada, some readers may be asking, Andrew, don’t you have something better to do than rail about car colours?

No.

The colour of the cars we drive is a statement on who we are and what we value. The popularity of white, black and grey suggest that “blending in” is a priority. In an age of public doom and private anguish, most drivers want to disappear. Drivers strive to be one of the herd. Why stand out brightly when you can submerge into the grayscale abyss?

Savvy car experts will note that the bland colours have better resale value.

So what? There is no resale value on life. So, you make a little more money when you sell a car painted “Grey Pearl.” All that means is you will probably spend that extra money on another boring grey car.

The adherence to a boring hue may have something to do with changes in our attitudes about the automobile. Today, people are at best conflicted about cars. Many people outright loathe them. To be fair, there’s lots to loathe. Automobiles pollute, kill people and congest streets. We’re ashamed to be driving in the first place, so why not have your car painted the colour of a funeral hearse. People who hate cars have one thing in common: Despite their hatred of vehicles, any time they need a car, they use one. Then they go back to hating them.

On the other hand, our current society would not exist without automobiles. Your pizza isn’t delivered on horseback. Your wine doesn’t arrive at the government-run liquor store via carrier pigeon. No one rides a unicycle to the emergency room.

I’m not due to buy a new car anytime soon but, if in the coming years, you are driving your greyscale EV crossover and a Purple Silk Mini Cooper Convertible glides past blaring Little Red Corvette (I like irony), know that it is me. Know that I am fine, and that I pity you.

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