Capri Holdings Ltd. (DOG)
Do you often wake up in the middle of the night worrying that rich people may have to pay more for luxury handbags? Well, worry no more, because the U.S. government is taking decisive action on this crucial consumer-protection matter. Shares of Capri Holdings – which owns the Versace, Jimmy Choo and Michael Kors brands – plummeted after a U.S. court blocked its pending US$8.5-billion acquisition by Tapestry, owner of Coach and Kate Spade. U.S. District Judge Jennifer Rochon argued that a merger of the two fashion houses “will substantially lessen competition in the market for accessible-luxury handbags.” Fashion slaves might celebrate the decision, but Capri investors suddenly have a lot less money in their purses.
Celestica Inc. (STAR)
Why is it that only U.S. tech companies such as Nvidia and Meta Platforms are posting boffo returns? Where are the Canadian success stories making investors rich? I mean, name one Canadian tech company that … pardon? Celestica’s shares have gained about 147 per cent so far in 2024, after rising 154 per cent the year before, you say? And the Toronto-based company – which makes hardware for some of the biggest players in artificial intelligence – posted a double-digit advance Thursday after reporting revenue and earnings that topped estimates? Okay, fine, but a Canadian team still hasn’t won the Stanley Cup since 1993. What about that?
McDonald’s Corp. (DOG)
Connect the dots, people! Last Sunday, McDonald’s closed one of its restaurants in Pennsylvania so Donald Trump could hold a photo op. Two days later, reports emerged that one person died and dozens fell ill with E. coli infections in 13 U.S. states after eating Quarter Pounders. Coincidence? More like a Soros-funded plot to discredit McDonald’s for giving Mr. Trump the opportunity to show the world his French-fry-making skills. Of course, the crooked mainstream media is covering up the story, just like it covered up Bill Gates’s involvement in 9/11 and the World Economic Forum’s plan to depopulate the Earth with chemtrails. Wake up before it’s too late, sheeple!
Tesla Inc. (STAR)
Tesla investors need to make up their minds: Is it an electric-car maker whose best days are behind it or is it an artificial intelligence company poised to make gazillions of dollars as AI takes over the world? A few weeks ago, investors were convinced Tesla was on the skids, as the stock plunged after a Cybercab prototype unveiling that was long on hyperbole but short on details. But on Thursday, Tesla’s shares posted their biggest gain in more than a decade after the company reported surprisingly strong earnings and projected that vehicle sales will grow by as much as 30 per cent next year. What will investors think of Tesla next week? Flip a coin.
General Motors Co. (STAR)
Fun fact: General Motors reported revenue of US$48.8-billion and net earnings of US$3.1-billion in the third quarter, compared with Tesla’s revenue of US$25.2-billion and earnings of $2.2-billion. Yet Tesla’s market value is roughly 14 times that of GM’s. Not that GM shareholders are complaining. Shares of the legacy automaker surged to their highest since January, 2022, after it easily beat Wall Street’s quarterly revenue and earnings expectations and raised its full-year forecast, buoyed by resilient consumer spending and strong sales of its gas-powered SUVs. With GM topping earnings estimates for five consecutive quarters and analysts hiking their price targets on the shares, the stock has the pedal to the metal.