Franny BakosCourtesy of family
Frances Ann Bakos: Mother. Farmer. Cook. Animal lover. Born June 29, 1946, in Tillsonburg, Ont.; died Jan. 5, 2024, in Tillsonburg, Ont., of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease; aged 77.
Not too long ago, Franny Bakos’s daughter watched her mother complete the familiar Shake and Bake chicken ritual. She was horrified. Michelle noticed her mother poured the leftover breading mixture back into its bag and box and return it to the cupboard. This sparked an intense debate about salmonella that culminated with mother’s retort and twinkle in her eye, “Listen kid, you’ve eaten this way your whole life and turned out just fine.” That was Frances; her humour and practicality were a testament to a life shaped by the necessity of making the most of everything she had.
Born to Polish immigrants, Frances Buszkiewicz was a surprise addition, arriving roughly 10 years after her older sisters who largely raised her, while her parents tended to their farm in South Middleton, Ont. She spent most of her youth preferring the companionship of animals to people. She rode horses, collected critters in her chicken coop sanctuary and lay on top of her best friend Betsy, the family cow. When beef appeared on the table one day and Betsy was missing, she was devastated.
Franny, as she was affectionately called, once disrupted her sister from smooching a beau on the couch by letting her horse stick its head through the open window between them. As a teen, she was a bit of a rebel, too – taking it on the knuckles from time to time by the nuns at her finishing school.
Franny married Mickey Bakos when she was 21 and he was 22. Initially, she pursued a real estate license, but Mickey wanted her to help manage the farm and they bought his parents’ farm in Walsingham, Ont. They farmed tobacco and cash crops through good times and bad. Mickey and Franny were co-dependent, taking care of and worrying for each other in their own way. They were together for over 55 years.
The children, Michael and Michelle, arrived 10 years after marriage. Franny was a caring yet also stubborn mom, with a temper that would occasionally surface. A wooden spoon wasn’t just for cooking – it served as a formidable tool of discipline!
Franny loved a good gossip. She and her three sisters were known as the “Polish hotline.” She also loved sitting around the kitchen table with her daughter’s girlfriends to hear the latest news and impart advice.
Franny never stopped collecting things – stamps, coins, beanie babies and other nuggets found at yard sales or flea markets that accumulated in the farmhouse basement. She was a whiz at jigsaw puzzles, word games and liked to make wreaths from materials found on the farm.
She made the family farm an animal sanctuary, once rescuing two orphaned Canada geese, creating a haven in the laundry room. When the honking doubled a week later, revealing two additional baby geese (that she found who knows where), she replied, “I thought they were lonely and needed more company.”
Everyone was welcome at Franny’s table. She was a maestro in the kitchen, teaching anyone interested in the art of canning. She cooked for large family gatherings, farm workers or anyone who stopped by. “Come on in,” she would say and get lost in hours of conversation.
In contrast, she also loved to toil quietly in the garden and go turkey hunting, but that really meant a nap against a tree without interruption.
After retiring from farming, Mickey and Franny leased out the land, and Mickey continues to oversee operations on the farm.
Despite health issues in later years, Franny remained active and cherished moments with her children and her yellow lab Rusty. This dedication to others defined her. While her life unfolded in a small radius in and around Norfolk County, Ont., her spirit of selflessness and warmth left a big and indelible mark on all who knew her.
Michelle Eaton is Frances Bakos’s daughter.
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